Ignore the Score

by Scott Noelle

In the competitive mindset that permeates our culture, keeping score is all-important. Without a score, you can’t know if you’re “winning.”

But in a creative mindset you can ignore the score. You’re playing “just for fun.”

Today, notice how you feel whenever you’re evaluating your circumstances. Evaluation is a kind of taking score that sometimes puts you in a competitive mindset.

For example, if your child were crying and you thought, “I have an unhappy child... I’m failing as a parent...” you’d be turning parenting into a win/lose game in which winning depended entirely on your child!

To avoid such games, first notice how disempowered you feel when you play them, then decide to stop taking score and start thinking of ways to enjoy parenting unconditionally.

Paradoxically, when you don’t “need” your child to be happy to prove you’re succeeding, your child will eventually be much happier!

Originally published on 2007-02-13
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