Q: How do you reconcile "unconditionality" with having preferences and desires? If you're totally unconditional, shouldn't everything be fine the way it is?
A: Unconditionality doesn't mean having no preferences or desires; it means that you don't let the temporary absence of your preferred conditions prevent you from enjoying the present moment...
"When conditions are to my liking, I feel great! (Obviously.) And when conditions are not to my liking, I enjoy anticipating the unfolding of my preferred conditions."
The idea that you can't enjoy this moment because of unwanted conditions is a LIE perpetuated by our conditional culture — a lie that serves no purpose other than to keep people feeling powerless!
Unconditionality says, "Enjoying the here and now is my top priority, so I'm not going to use these conditions as an excuse to separate from my natural state of well-being."
So when your child "misbehaves," or your partner is unsupportive, or you're sleep-deprived, etc., use those unwanted conditions to help you clarify what you do want. Then practice unconditionality by accepting the present conditions AND joyfully anticipating the fulfillment of your desires.