Say YES to Desire

by Scott Noelle

When your child asks for something you don’t want to provide, you might fall into the trap of competitive thinking:

“If I say yes, I lose; but if I say no, he’ll cry. I lose either way.”

Today, try this alternative to competition: The moment your child asks for something, say YES to the desire. In other words, affirm that desires are good, and appreciate the unlimited number of ways any desire can be fulfilled. Don’t say, “Yes, I will make it happen,” unless you truly want to do it.

If the request is specifically for YOU to do it, figure out the underlying desire and affirm that. For example, if she asked you to play with her, maybe she just wants to connect with you and would enjoy connecting through any activity.

But don’t try to solve it. Your “YES-energy” will attract an inspired solution. It’ll feel like a miracle... but only because it is. :)

Originally published on 2006-06-22
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