The Daily Groove
Say YES to Desire
by Scott Noelle, posted on 2006-06-21
When your child asks for something you don't want to provide, you might fall into the trap of competitive thinking:
"If I say yes, I lose; but if I say no, he'll cry. I lose either way."
Today, try this alternative to competition: The moment your child asks for something, say YES without even thinking. But you're not saying, "Yes, I will make it happen," you're saying yes to the deliciousness of desire and appreciating the unlimited number of ways any desire can be fulfilled.
If the request is specifically for YOU to do it, connect with the broader, underlying desire. For example, if she asked you to play with her, perhaps any playmate would do, or maybe she wants to connect with you through any activity.
But don't try to solve it. Your "YES-energy" will attract an inspired solution. It'll feel like a miracle... but only because it is. :)
An Example
While grocery shopping your child asks you to buy her candy, but you think she's been eating too many sweets.
You shouldn't just say "Yes, get all the candy you want," because you aren't aligned with that. Instead, respond with YES-energy to her desire: "You sure do love chocolate!" Then wait and see (feel) what else comes into alignment...
Maybe you'll be inspired to talk about healthier foods she loves. Maybe you'll decide to buy the candy anyway. Maybe you'll just appreciate her desire and not buy anything.
What you ultimately do is not as important as staying in alignment, being authentic, and keeping your heart open, all of which generate more YES-energy.
For another example, see "Rich With Desire."